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 Smart Jokes. Smart Presentation Humor. 

PS. Telling a great joke is easy. 

It's finding one that's hard.

The Good News is we've curated some of the best jokes in the world,

each with exceptional punchlines. Now you'll get to enjoy the pleasure 

of delivering a great laugh and the enhanced reputation that goes with it. 

But first, watch this...

Your One Minute Setup-Punchline Tutorial

Sales Joke.PNG

Why can’t an Engineer tell a joke timing.

To make an actor funny in a movie you don’t teach

him to be funny - you give him great lines.

For much of stand-up comedy, a joke is so tied to the

performer telling the joke, that it might make

no sense if someone else is telling it.

But what makes a really good joke great is anyone can tell it.

Stephen Rosenfield

9 Secrets to Telling a Great Joke

A Light-Hearted Opener

"Thank you for putting your phones away.

I realize even though we're not looking at our phones

...it doesn't mean we're not thinking about them."

Everyone can enjoy poking fun at our modern shared obsession.

Two Psychiatrists

   Listen

Two psychiatrists each had their practice in the

same building for twenty-five years but had never

spoken. After a quarter-century in practice, one still

appeared young and upbeat. The other looked old

and beat up. One day, they found themselves in the

elevator together. Unable to contain his curiosity, the prematurely aged psychiatrist began a conversation

with his colleague. “I’ve got to know,” he began. “How

can you spend twenty-five years listening to people’s

problems and still look so bright and cheerful?” 

“Who listens?”...was the reply.

After delivering the punchline and the laughter subsides

you can say, "We do." Then after a pause, you can add 

"Which is what I hope you will do for me

and what I have to share with you."

Classic Obituary Joke

A woman's husband of 60 years died and she thought

she should place an obituary in the local newspaper to

let everyone know. She called up the paper and the

woman on the other end of the line told her,

"Obituaries cost five dollars a word."

"Five dollars a word! That's ridiculous.

Then just write, Fred, Dead!"

"I'm sorry, but for an obituary, 

there is a five-word minimum."

“A five-word minimum?!!  Fine! '

Fred Dead...Cadillac for Sale.' "

 (A great joke to emphasize the importance

   of finding the lowest cost solution.)

Here is the founder of HumorPoint delivering Fred's Obituary

Joke. Notice how he 'acts out' all the characters with different

voices and moves his body when speaking for a new character.

By acting out a joke it comes alive and you're all the funnier.

Boy Scouts

In life, you have to show enthusiasm otherwise you will

never get anything done. Here is a great example:

Three boy scouts had been sent out from the scout  

meeting to perform their good deed of the day. In about

fifteen minutes they came back to report they had all done 

their good deed. "We helped a little old lady across the 

street," they said. The Scout Leader was dumbfounded

and said, "You mean to tell me that all three of you  

helped the same old lady across the street?

It certainly didn't take all three of you to help her."

"Oh, yes it did," one of the scouts said,

"because she didn't want to cross the street."

(A great joke to emphasize the importance of understanding  

what help your customer really needs from you.)

The Truck Driver

An elderly truck driver was eating lunch at a roadside

diner when three shaggy young hoodlums, sporting black

leather jackets garishly decorated with skulls and cross-

bones, parked their motorcycles and came inside. They

spotted the truck driver and proceeded to taunt him,

taking his food away, pushing him off the seat, and insul-

ting his old age. He said nothing, but finally got up from

the floor, paid his bill, and walked out. One of the bikers,

unhappy that they hadn’t provoked a fight, said to the

waitress, “Boy, he sure wasn’t much of a man, was he?”

“No,” said the waitress, looking out the window, “and

he’s not much of a truck driver either. He just backed his

truck over three motorcycles!”

(A great joke to emphasize the importance of coming

up with your best response to a difficult situation.)

Stealing

An elderly couple had been shopping at a grocery

store, and the wife decided to steal a can of peaches.

The inevitable happened and she was caught.

Upon her court date, the judge asked her

what she had stolen.

“Your Honour, I stole a can of peaches.”

The judge replied,

“How many peaches were in the can?”

She said, “Six.”

The judge then said,

“I will sentence you to six days in jail.”

Her husband stood up behind her and replied,

“Your Honour, she also stole a can of peas.”

  (A great joke to emphasize the

importance of not stealing,,,anything.)

Domestic Dispute

A police officer jumps into his squad car

and calls the station.

“I have an interesting case here,” he says.

“A woman shot her husband for stepping

on the floor she just mopped.”

“Have you arrested her?” asks the sergeant.

“No, not yet. The floor’s still wet.”

   (A great joke to emphasize the importance of timing.)

Reading Betwen the LInes

During a lesson about adjectives, my friend,

an elementary school teacher, asked her class to

describe their mothers. One boy described his

mother's hair as auburn. Impressed by his

sophisticated word choice, my friend asked,

"How do you know her hair color is auburn?"

Her student replied,

"Because that's what it says on the box."

   (A great joke to emphasize the importance of reading between the lines..)

The Universal Genie Joke For All Occasions

A Genie grants this salesman a wish. The salesman says

“I love Hawaii but I don’t like to fly and I hate boats.

Could you build a highway from here to Hawaii?”

The Genie says Are you nuts?! Do you have any idea how

impossible it would be to sink pilings in the Pacific Ocean?..

Or how much concrete and asphalt you’d need for 2,000

miles of highway? Or, even how much trouble it

would be to get an environmental impact release?”

The salesman says “OK, then I’d like to know how

come our (insert any pertinent business problem here)

isn’t working. The Genie says “Were you thinking

of a one-lane highway or two?”

(A great joke to emphasize the importance of reaching for B.H.A.G.)

(Big Hairy Audacious Goals)

Boss Tracker.com

You like surfing the Net and playing computer games at

work as much as the next guy. But that’s not always

possible if your boss is constantly poking his head

in your cubicle to check up on you.  

With BossTracker.com

that’s yesterday’s problem.

 

We secretly implant a microscopic wireless tracking

device on your supervisor. Via cutting edge GPS satellite

technology, we’re able to keep you posted on his whereabouts

at all times.  At $59.95 a month, this is a service that pays for

itself in just one week of added fun and decreased stress.

And if you’re a frequent at-work napper, for an extra

$19.95 a month, we’ll install the Auto Work option

which automatically switches your computer to pre-set

work documents or spreadsheets whenever your boss is

located within ten feet of your workstation.

 (A great joke to emphasize the importance

  of self-motivated employees.)

If you don't think you are ready to deliver a great joke to

get your message across...good news...you don't have to.

You can simply present a comedian performing a great comedy

piece and humor wrap the point you want to make around it.

For example, this is a great clip to validate the impatient, frustr-

ating feelings people have when things aren't moving fast enough.

You can tie this relatable piece of humor to the importance of

keeping projects and timelines moving reliably forward. Or you

can relate it to why self-driving cars are safer than human

emotionally driven cars. You will make your point and

have your audience laughing in the aisles as well. 

Elaine Tells Jerry How to Tell His Joke Better

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An Introduction to the Power of Humor

Robert Bostick, HumorPoint Founder

Funny Humor on HumorPoint
HumorPoint Site Map

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